KaleidoKleio

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Home

I have been feeling viciously homesick the past few days...to an unbearable degree. Yesterday I put everything in my life on pause and went to Oxford Street, which I barely go to, away from my daily life here, and just walked around with my iPod on pretending like I was here in London on vacation. I was able to partially convince myself, except for the fact that Raine was missing (if I was on vacation in London she'd be with me). Today I stayed in bed reading all day - not academic reading, but a novel. Again, escape from reality.

The thing is, I know everyone thinks I'm nuts, and don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE London. It is one of the only cities I would want to live in other than Kuwait. But I was having a conversation the other day with some friends from my programme and one girl, from New York, put it perfectly. She said no matter how great London is, we each have our own lives elsewhere and we are not connected to this city the way we are in our own worlds. It is where we live, and no matter how much we do love the city, it is not our place. It is not our Life, with a capital L. And the reason we are unable to, or rather simply don't, connect with it is because for one, we just don't have the time. We are so engrossed in our academic work that we really don't have the time or energy to invest in anything other than studying. But at the same time, for me at least, I just don't have the mental/emotional energy to do it either. This is the third time in my life I have moved. And now that I am older, I just want to be back in my world, my Life, with a capital L.

Laying in bed today, a Saturday, I thought about Thursday in my world, in my Life in Kuwait (let's say it's a non-chalet weekend!). Waking up in the morning and having a cup of tea while enjoying the prospect of an actual weekend. I would get dressed, get in my VW, drive around, run some errands, kill time till lunch. Then I'd go home and enjoy the fact that it's one of the few days Dad and I are both home for lunch together. We'd eat in the dining room and then sit in the TV room for a couple of hours catching up on each other's week, and just talking. About life, Kuwait, society, politics, about our work, about people we know, the latest updates on my friends (many of whom he knows in person but most of whom he knows well enough by name from these countless stories), recounting old family stories filled with loving memories of Mom, and having long talks about history, a passion of mine which he shares, and which makes me realize that no matter how much I study there is no better source for me than my Dad. By the late afternoon P will be done from work so I'll go start getting ready for our evening/night out. In my room, which is probably as big as my flat here in London but with all the comforts of home, I put something on DVD (usually "Frasier") for background noise while I take a shower and get dressed. Then P picks me up and we head out to do one of the million things we love doing together, talking about so much and laughing and listening to music while stuck in traffic. By dinner we'd meet up with the gang at our usual dinner spot or at someone's house or once in a while all go to a barbeque or party. And it doesn't matter how late I get in because tomorrow is Friday and I can sleep in as late as I want.

I know it must all seem so mundane, but that is the world that I fantasize about. My simple, happy, exciting, comfortable world filled with all the people, and THE person, I love most in this world.

13 Comments:

  • As much as I love Kuwait too and thought the same way when I was in the US, I still have to say that I wished I had my own private jet and I can up and go to DC on a Friday to have fun then come home! The only issue is I work on Saturdays PLUS I'm not Oprah, Sultan of Brunai, or 7amad 9uba7 Al-A7mad! :oP

    By Blogger The Stallion, at 2/05/2006 8:27 am  

  • I dont believe you. These things you mention that occur on a "Thursday" can never happen because Thursday isn't on any known calendar. Must be something you made up living in your King Arthur version of London.

    I guess it is true what they say sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and a city is just a city. Cause once you light that match, all you are left with is ashes.

    But then you can always just let the cigar die down and sit back and enjoy the moment.

    By Blogger nibaq, at 2/05/2006 8:30 am  

  • By default, changes and sacrifices are made , cause you had the courage and peice of mind to leave it all behind and do what you passionately wanted to do. I totally agree with your friend about how u love a city, but you cannot connect with it. But No matter where you are, home will always be here for you. We will always be here when u get back....we ain't goin nowhere. We will always have Edo. We will always have chalet, we will always have "Call On Me". It's just a phase in your life that will pass and you will be back before you know it. Enjoy it, make the best of it, and make it yours! :)

    By Blogger Jazz Central, at 2/05/2006 1:08 pm  

  • I know what you mean, although as you know, for me, the equation is more complicated as my O's Life is half in London (in terms of family, friends and where he has spent most of his adult - and come to think of it childhood - Life) and half in Kuwait (in terms of rest of family, ME :) and job, etc.) So we are still figuring out our place to make our Life. Although it has to be near Dad and you guys, Rigaya and Sebeecha! Anyway... get back here soon. We miss you!!!

    P.S. Speaking of shopping in London - can I come in Spring Break (mid to late March) or will you still be swamped?!

    By Blogger Raine, at 2/05/2006 3:08 pm  

  • Hey....if it's ok for Raine to come to London...then I can come to London too! hehehehe....no worries...I wont bother you. I will be toooo busy checking out the city....so much to see...so much to do. then we can meet up at night for socail activities....YAY!! I cant wait

    By Blogger Jazz Central, at 2/05/2006 3:58 pm  

  • Woah woah hold on! Raine if you come in March will you be staying with me? We'll have to see. JC if you wanna have fun here trust me, wait till next year when I start my PhD programme. Ironically, I'll be less stressed then cos I won't have as many pressing deadlines that early in the programme.

    Stallion: This week my friends and I were fantasizing about winning the €125 million lottery. That would be COOL! :) I'd buy you a jet and we'd go a-buzzing together!

    nibaq: I don't get it. Why isn't Thursday on any calendar? And you're right, once in a while it really is nice to just sit back and enjoy the moment, and I do have those London moments when I think: "Damn, I get to call this amazing place home for a while."

    JC: It's all you guys' fault that N and I feel so homesick! Not to sound cheesy, but if we didn't have such a kick ass group of friends (plus my kick ass family and my wonderful P) it wouldn't be so hard to be away! ;) At this point in my life, having been through everything I've been through in life, all I want to do is be around the people that make life a pleasure to wake up to every morning. THAT'S YOU GUYS!

    Raine: You better not leave! You got mad at me for saying I wanted to live in Kuwait City cos you said it was too far. The rule is that the sisters + significant others and Dad cannot live more than 10 mins away from each other EVER (once I move back from London that is). Unless you come to London now to do your PhD!

    By Blogger Kleio, at 2/05/2006 5:10 pm  

  • Awww thanks! First for letting me part of the "KICK ASS GROUP" and secondly for willing to get me a jet to go buzzing! ;o)

    JC: I told you we would be the reason for her homesickness! :oP

    By Blogger The Stallion, at 2/06/2006 8:01 am  

  • I know how difficult it is to leave home and loved ones, but trust me you left right on time... some people in the gang... i won't mention names... now have an imaginary friend called Is7ac who apparently loves giving BJs to another friend in the group. Both their names start with the letter A.

    That's how bad it's getting here!
    =)

    By Blogger Rampurple, at 2/06/2006 12:42 pm  

  • Stallion: Heard a song by Keane the other day and it reminded me of Ramadan and winter last year, the days at F's place playing pool and throwing crocodiles into the swimming pool!

    Rampurple: HUH?? What's happened to everyone?! I gotta get back and have a rejuvenating session for everyone at chalet (or Kubbar!), otherwise you're all gonna go nuts.

    By Blogger Kleio, at 2/06/2006 6:04 pm  

  • Rampurple: LooOOOOooOOOoOOLLLL! What a way to start my morning at work. I read your comment while sipping my coffee, and then......PPPPPPFFFFFF!!!! all the coffee came out in a big laugh. Even Is7aq is amuzed and glad to be of service!

    By Blogger Jazz Central, at 2/07/2006 8:45 am  

  • STOP USING MY BLOG FOR YOUR INSIDE JOKES! It's rude, especially after I just finished telling you guys how much I miss you all and how homesick I am! :( Hehe but JC I could so totally see you spitting out your coffee at your desk, all over Mr. Clean! :) Will someone please put me in the loop?

    By Blogger Kleio, at 2/07/2006 11:15 pm  

  • Raine: Kleio is TOTALLY right: no more than 10 minutes away. Deal with it.

    By Anonymous red, at 2/11/2006 12:36 pm  

  • I congratulate U and thank U for this information.
    Horse Outlet

    By Anonymous Horse Outlet, at 4/17/2006 7:39 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home