Phobias

I found a list of phobias online (don’t ask why) that gives the proper “scientific” name for an endless number of…umm…legitimate fears. Now, I really don’t think all of these are legitimate fears – the guy must have made some up – but a lot of them either are definitely or at least sound legitimate, so you never know! Otherwise this guy had waaaaay too much free time on his hands! I actually have some of these phobias (some of which I didn’t even know existed in quasi-scientific terms!). Anyway, there are some highlights that I just had to share because they are laugh-out-loud funny. This is all in good humour and I sincerely hope I don’t offend anyone reading this who might actually have one of these fears (if you do have any of the fears below I truly hope that you are seeing somebody about it). Here it goes (the parenthetical comments are my own):

Aibohphobia - Fear of palindromes – not necessarily an actual word; aiboh is not of course Greek or Latin for Palindrome, but is simply intended to make the word itself palindromic. (FYI: a palindrome is a word, phrase, verse, or sentence that reads the same backward or forward.)

Alliumphobia - the abnormal fear of garlic that may extend to a variety of plants characterized by their pungent odor including onions, leeks, chives, and shallots. Allium is the onion genus. (Garlic? What if it comes out of a tube? My sisters will get the joke.)

Allodoxaphobia - Fear of opinions. (I think everyone on our Parliament has this one.)

Anemophobia - Fear of air. (That one’s gotta suck.)

Anthrophobia, Anthophobia - Fear of flowers. (They watched Alice in Wonderland as a kid.)

Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. (Yeah, I got this one.)

Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection. (I really do have this one.)

Aulophobia - Fear of flutes. (Hmmmm…maybe someone had a bad experience at band camp.)

Autophobia, Eremophobia, Ermitophibia, Isolophobia, Monophobia - Fear of being alone or fear of oneself. (That’s gotta suck as bad as fear of air. Can you imagine if you had both?)

Bolshephobia - Fear of Bolsheviks. (Hey!)

Bathophobia - Fear of depth. (I know lots of people with this one! They prefer to remain nice and shallow.)

Bibliophobia - Fear of books. (Finally we have a name for our social condition!)

Blennophobia, Myxophobia - Fear of slime. (These were kids who used to be on Nickelodeon in the 1980s.)

Button phobia - Fear of buttons. (Well, when you think about it…they are kind of weird.)

Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness. (Abso-friggin-lutely!)

Cathisophobia, Kathisophobia, Thaasophobia - Fear of sitting. (Thank goodness for Turkish toilets.)

Chelonaphobia - Fear of turtles. (I have that. I really do.)

Chinophobia - Fear of Chinese people, customs, etc. (No comment. Oh, found out my neighbours are Chinese, btw, not Korean.)

Chronophobia - Fear of time. (Jazz Central must have this one.)

Dextrophobia - Fear of objects at the right side of the body. (LOL!)

Dikephobia - Fear of justice. (Another one for our MPs.)

Doxophobia - Fear of expressing opinions or receiving praise. (You got this one if you graduated from the Kuwaiti government school system.)

Euphobia - Fear of hearing good news. (Huh?)

Eurotophobia - Fear of female genitalia. (Sucks if you’re a woman. Sucks if you're a straight man, too.)

Europhobia - Fear of Europe, Europeans, or alternatively, the European Union. (The EU – Hahahahahahahahahaha!!)

Genuphobia - Fear of knees. (Cool. If anyone has a fear of knees please leave me a comment. I’d like to meet you. Seriously.)

Hegelophobia - Fear of Hegel. (Marx must have spent his life looking over his shoulder, waiting for a pissed off Hegel to creep up on him, twist his arm, and yell: “Flip it back! Flip my dialectic back!” That must be where the phobia came from.)

Heresyphobia, Hereiophobia - Fear of challenges to official doctrine or of radical deviation. (Oh geez, we know too many of these to list.)

Levophobia - Fear of things to the left side of the body. (Can you imagine if you had that and dextrophobia? Hee hee hee!)

Papaphobia - Fear of the Pope. (Povero papa!)

Pogonophobia, Pognophobia - Fear of beards. (I HAVE THIS ONE! Stick a mini-dishdasha into the mix and you’ll see me run so fast you’ll develop Tachophobia - Fear of speed.)

That was a nice little study break. Here’s the link for you to play around with. Enjoy! Shall we see if we can come up with some of our own? I'll start - Niqabophobia: Fear of mitnaqbas or people dressed like ninjas.