This is not about "patriotism"...

I got an E-mail from an old friend yesterday who recently moved back to Kuwait after about 8 years. It was obvious that she is doubting her decision to move back, and is giving herself a 1 ½ year trial period. She mentioned how boring Kuwait is, and how she will definitely be leaving after this trial period is over. Her E-mail got me thinking. I’m so glad I don’t feel like that anymore. When I was younger I was positive that I would never settle in Kuwait. I thought that once I got out I’d never go back. After I finished undergrad I was planning on moving back for a short period, but life circumstances brought me back for sure. Before I knew it, one year quickly turned into four. And boy am I glad I did those four years. One thing that I am sure of now is that I will definitely be moving back to Kuwait after I’m done with my PhD. I love Kuwait, pure and simple. I am so happy I am not the kind of person that loves to just sit around for hours bitching and moaning about how much they hate it there and how “miserable” or “bored” they are. Now don’t get me wrong – I am not judging anyone here, and I know that many people do sincerely hate living in Kuwait (I’m not really gonna get into non-Kuwaitis here, I’m talking about Kuwaitis) – all I’m saying is that I’m glad I’ve gotten over that. And of course this is not at all to say that I don’t get frustrated in and by Kuwait. In fact, I think it’s quite the contrary – because I really do love Kuwait, and I love living there, I see the problems we have even more vividly and acutely than I think most other people do – politically and socially – and they anger and frustrate and even torment me more than they seem to do most other Kuwaitis. I am VERY critical of Kuwait, of its mistakes and problems and lack of direction. But I think I am so critical precisely because I really do love the mixed up little place. I remember having conversations about Kuwait with a good friend years ago, when I first moved back. He loved Kuwait in a way that I couldn’t understand, because at the same time we would talk very critically about it, about all the things we saw wrong with it. But now I understand his sentiment. Now, on the flip side, I am in no way going to deny that there is A LOT missing in Kuwait that you find outside, and in the most general terms if I were to choose to live my life outside of Kuwait, I could do so very easily, and very successfully. Life would certainly be a totally different, and wonderful, experience. But I just don’t feel it in me. Maybe it’s because of what I do, and what I hope to do in the future, but something inside me knows that I have to go back. What’s the point of complaining about it if you don’t do something, big or small, to fix/change it? Being away is hard for the obvious reasons – missing people. Everyone I love most in the world is there – my dad, sisters and family, P, and my closest friends. But I don’t know – it kind of bothers me when I hear people who haven’t given Kuwait the slightest bit of a chance just complain all the time. Not just the people who haven’t lived there (or rather re-lived there) for any significant period of time who sit and complain non-stop – there are also people who have been living there but who are so dead set on hating it that they have not actually let themselves LIVE in Kuwait. Maybe I’m just lucky. I found a world for myself in Kuwait that I feel happy and comfortable in. I have people in my life there who make everything worthwhile. I had a job (and will hopefully have another job!) that I loved, as much as it drove me insane with stress. And I now have the opportunity to do something I am passionate about, strangely enough something “different” in Kuwait, and will have the chance to go back and hopefully really make a difference, and make my mark. Plus, I just have fun there – life is pretty good. Maybe for all those reasons, I have a different outlook on Kuwait. I’m just really glad that I’m over the phase of hating it, because loving it makes life a whole lot better!