People Gotta Lighten Up
I want to write about something that has really upset me regarding this blog. I just received comments on my post from July about my review of the Paul van Dyk gig in Beirut. In my post I pointed out the things that we didn't like about it - about the event itself. About PVD's set and how it wasn't what we were used to from him, the heat, the difference between rave crowds today and how it used to be in the earlier days, all the trash on the floor, etc. I was pointing these things out to show the areas where the event could improve. In the comments section there then ensued a lively discussion about raves, trance music, DJ's, etc. Then suddenly today I received three hostile comments calling me a racist, anti-Arab, anti-Lebanese, and other insulting things like that. I can take criticism, but I will not tolerate that.
First of all, these two kids failed to realize that I am Arab (they called me American), and that I am also part Lebanese. Second of all, why do people assume that if you are criticizing something as small as a one-night event, you are criticizing a people as a whole?? If they think I don't "qualify" to offer my opinion, I also spoke to many Lebanese people who were there that night who said the exact same things that I did. Were they also being anti-Lebanese racists? What I have realized through this blog and reading other blogs is that people just do not see the difference between offering constructive criticism, and being political. People just love to jump on the defensive and call people anti-this and anti-that. I've seen it in other blogs too. When a non-Kuwaiti mentions something he doesn't like in Kuwait, he then gets all these comments from people telling him to get the hell out. I just don't understand that mentality (which is usually given by people who are too young to understand how to discuss things without getting hysterical). It's so childish to get all riled up and hostile about something as silly as a rave - especially when our region has so many other critical things we should be concentrating on.
Anyway, I've just come to realize that people will always attack you for your own opinions, even in as informal a setting as a blog. If you identify an area for improvement, they will call you a racist. What these people fail to realize, is that it is precisely us who should identify the areas for improvement in our own region, because we are the ones who should be working to make things better for ourselves. I'm not going to stick my head in the sand and just because I am an Arab say that everything in the Middle East is the best in the world. No, when I see things that can be better, I'm going to point them out. And that's what separates people like me from people like that. They will never make a difference in our region because they immediately get on the defensive and can't take criticism. I, on the other hand, will always have my eyes open for areas of improvement to help make my country, my region, and my people absolutely perfect. I will be working for the rest of my life to help this region rise to the top - in every little thing. Socially, politically, economically, and yes, even when it comes to something as seemingly trivial as a rave. Because if we don't strive to be better, who will? And to those who want to attack people for wanting our region to be perfect - it is you who I consider to be the racist.
In the meantime, I've realized that people just can't handle an insignificant little opinion, and for that I'm just going to just stop offering one. It's not worth it because this evidently is not a forum for discussion, but rather one to attack and insult. If people want to be hostile, let them do it in their own space. I prefer my blog to be about discussion, debate, sharing ideas and opinions, and even individual criticism about me if people so choose. But outright slander by being called a racist simply because I thought there was too much trash on the floor or because I thought it was silly that so many people were wearing sunglasses indoors - that I will not tolerate.
First of all, these two kids failed to realize that I am Arab (they called me American), and that I am also part Lebanese. Second of all, why do people assume that if you are criticizing something as small as a one-night event, you are criticizing a people as a whole?? If they think I don't "qualify" to offer my opinion, I also spoke to many Lebanese people who were there that night who said the exact same things that I did. Were they also being anti-Lebanese racists? What I have realized through this blog and reading other blogs is that people just do not see the difference between offering constructive criticism, and being political. People just love to jump on the defensive and call people anti-this and anti-that. I've seen it in other blogs too. When a non-Kuwaiti mentions something he doesn't like in Kuwait, he then gets all these comments from people telling him to get the hell out. I just don't understand that mentality (which is usually given by people who are too young to understand how to discuss things without getting hysterical). It's so childish to get all riled up and hostile about something as silly as a rave - especially when our region has so many other critical things we should be concentrating on.
Anyway, I've just come to realize that people will always attack you for your own opinions, even in as informal a setting as a blog. If you identify an area for improvement, they will call you a racist. What these people fail to realize, is that it is precisely us who should identify the areas for improvement in our own region, because we are the ones who should be working to make things better for ourselves. I'm not going to stick my head in the sand and just because I am an Arab say that everything in the Middle East is the best in the world. No, when I see things that can be better, I'm going to point them out. And that's what separates people like me from people like that. They will never make a difference in our region because they immediately get on the defensive and can't take criticism. I, on the other hand, will always have my eyes open for areas of improvement to help make my country, my region, and my people absolutely perfect. I will be working for the rest of my life to help this region rise to the top - in every little thing. Socially, politically, economically, and yes, even when it comes to something as seemingly trivial as a rave. Because if we don't strive to be better, who will? And to those who want to attack people for wanting our region to be perfect - it is you who I consider to be the racist.
In the meantime, I've realized that people just can't handle an insignificant little opinion, and for that I'm just going to just stop offering one. It's not worth it because this evidently is not a forum for discussion, but rather one to attack and insult. If people want to be hostile, let them do it in their own space. I prefer my blog to be about discussion, debate, sharing ideas and opinions, and even individual criticism about me if people so choose. But outright slander by being called a racist simply because I thought there was too much trash on the floor or because I thought it was silly that so many people were wearing sunglasses indoors - that I will not tolerate.
posted by Kleio at
4:13 am
18 Comments:
Who was it that said 'To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.' ?
That doesn't sound very much like you.. it's the blog-land plague. It just means you're good enough to warrant someone's jealousy and/or irrational spite. Disregard, and pity the sad complexes some people have.. its the price you pay for being successful.
On a lighrer note, guess who just bought tickets for Death cab for cutie :)
By
Trevelyana, at 9/28/2006 6:33 am
Criticism is fine - calling someone a racist for no reason takes it to a whole new level though! Grrrr.
Man, everyone is going to see DCFC but me! Hrrmph. Enjoy! :)
By
Kleio, at 9/28/2006 10:33 am
I've started moderating comments because: 1) I don't like it when people hijack a topic and use the comments section as a place to unleash their own isses. 2) I want this to be an area of constructive discussion, debate, criticism, and even argument - but the operative word being constructive. When someone decides to not fully read or understand a post or a comment someone else leaves, and then decides to throw about irrelevant hostility or ignorance, it's a waste of my time and energy. Feel free to comment on your criticisms about me or anyone else, but if it's irrelevant to what has been written or is being discussed, it won't get posted.
By
Kleio, at 9/28/2006 1:09 pm
Didn't mean to ruin the aspect of your blog being about sharing opinions and points of view.
In your PVD inleb post (which u deleted i guess), you were clearly hostile towards the event's organization, and u forgot to mention that it's NOT JUST IN LEB!
Please do differenciate between the two posts, "THEY called me an american".
I've been reading your blog fair enough to know that YOU are not american, and I did NOT call u an american, and did NOT call u a racist either!
SO kindly, pick your words with more care so there wouldnt be any misunderstandings about what I already wrote since you obviously deleted my comments!
"as silly as rave" Reading between the lines of your post, it doesnt look so "silly as a rave"
I understand you were critisizing so we would improve our organizations, but isn't it a bit akward the fact that you're postic your report/critics on a blog barely visited by lebanese organizers?
In lebanon, we have our own EM forum: www.lebaneseravers.com
We post, comment, report & argue about the scene in leb, it would be rly kind of you, to check it out sometimes.
Reading your actual post makes you look like a victim, like you've been attacked, u wrote " I've been called a racist" TOO many times.
without forgetting that u deleted our comments!
I know you probably won't publish this comment, but I sincerely hope you've read it.
By
Anonymous, at 9/28/2006 3:42 pm
P.S.
"When someone decides to not fully read or understand a post or a comment someone else leaves, and then decides to throw about irrelevant hostility or ignorance, it's a waste of my time and energy. "
Not only did I read your comment many times, and especially when i was writing mine, but I read many entries on your blog, going through the archives, long before I posted my comment
By
Anonymous, at 9/28/2006 3:44 pm
First of all, why would I not post your comment? At least you are finally attempting to engage in a conversation. First of all, you did refer to me as a racist, because you made it very clear in your comment that you thought I was insulting Lebanese people as a whole, rather than just the people I saw at that event. "U deserve a slap for that!!! WHAT the hell are you? DONT U EVER TALK ABOUT US, LEBANESE THAT WAY!!" Sound familiar? Fine, maybe it was the other person who referred to me as an American, but don't suddenly try to absolve yourself from your attacks. You now recognize that I was criticizing the "events organization" - before you were accusing me of talking negatively about Lebanese people as a whole. No, I really don't think you fully understood my post. Nor do I think you read much around my blog before making your rash comments.
And yes, I know about your forums, and I have visited them. But I also feel I have the right to post my own comments on my own private blog. And yes, I have deleted the post now because I realize that there will always be people like you and that other person who will read things negatively and with hostility. I would rather delete the post than have ignorant people invade my space for the wrong reasons.
As for coming off as "a victim" - it's not about being victimized. You can say whatever the hell you want about me. But when it's plain ignorant and slanderous, it will be removed. That's the luxury of having a private blog. And yes, being labeled a racist (even if you didn't use the words - I can read between the lines too), when you don't know a single thing about me, is more than just "criticism".
By
Kleio, at 9/28/2006 3:57 pm
Ignore'em, "greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies"
u rock :)
By
Anonymous, at 9/29/2006 4:38 am
Those people need more constructive hobbies.
By
don_veto, at 9/29/2006 5:03 pm
"They will never make a difference in our region because they immediately get on the defensive and can't take criticism."
That is so true. This is the problem with Muslims and Arabs (and I am one, so I can make this criticism)... They always get defensive; meanwhile, they bitch and moan and criticize everyone else in the world. Always the victims. Your criticism of the event was constructive. It was well thought out. I hope more of us will start finding things wrong with ourselves and our region and then make decisions to take action to improve.
These kiddies are hysterical. The nationalistic fervor is simply silly. If they did read your blog regularly like they claimed, they would know you love Lebanon... Heck, if they even read that post properly they would understand your intentions.
Please ignore people like that.
But I will not ignore one part: SLAP??? Listen little girl... Learn some respect. Some of us live in a civilized world. (And before you start ranting and raving, I am not talking countries here - I am talking PEOPLE. More clearly, since you tend to interpret things wrong: YOU, as a person, ARE NOT CIVILIZED. Grow up.
Kleio - It is clear your blog creates a great deal of jealousy. You are open, intelligent, and dynamic -- that must kill some people. I would not be surprised if some of these losers even know you personally and are trying to trash you (again, their motive being envy).
IGNORE THEM. Their lives must be so small...
Keep your posts coming (just as they are)...
By
Lola, at 9/29/2006 6:37 pm
You "rock-ain"
By
Erzulie, at 9/29/2006 7:01 pm
Anonymous: Your quote...so true!
Don_Veto: Like maybe picking up a book. Then maybe people will start to learn how to engage in a rational discussion or debate.
Raine: Petty bullsh*t, that's what it is. Unfortunately, it's all too common where we are. As for the over-dramatic nationalistic fervour - it's not even necessarily nationalism. It's defensive hysteria. The best thing really is to "ignore the ignorant" (as a very nice person mentioned to me in an Email about this).
Erzulie: You rock thalath marraat! :)
By
Kleio, at 9/29/2006 8:04 pm
Raine, you chose exactly the quote that caught my eye.
Being able to see weaknesses and try and take steps to do something about them is so important - especially in the world we live in today.
It is silly to think that any one nation, race, or culture is perfect. Looking at the world today that is so obviously wrong.
Nobody should be afraid to voice their opinions. It is their right. And if people don't agree, then that's their right too ... but there is no need to ever be insulting.
By
PlumPetals, at 9/29/2006 10:50 pm
PlumPetals: "Being able to see weaknesses and try and take steps to do something about them is so important" - so true. But what's funny is that all this was over a little rave! Imagine if it was about something that actually mattered! But sometimes, people's reactions to the trivial things actually says so much about how they would react to the big things. Frightening thought, isn't it?
By
Kleio, at 9/29/2006 11:55 pm
cynthia: i suspect you were involved in planning the event and are not taking that it sucked gracefully. (those are only spaces you are seeing between the lines)
By
Anonymous, at 9/30/2006 2:22 am
you did not publish my comments, that's fine by me. But from your discussion with others who did not agree with your point of view, I still think that you are not really as open, democratic and confident as you would like to think you are.
Your sister is doing a good job in praising and polishing you. You want the whole world to say that you are Ms. perfect? don't be greedy love.
Mr. Issues
By
Anonymous, at 9/30/2006 3:46 pm
edo rex - (those are only spaces you are seeing between the lines)
BRILLIANT!
You know Occam's razor? The simplest explanation is usually the right one... Well, not with these types. Conspiracy theories are born when they decide they do not like the simplest explanation. Too much free time on their hands. Now if only we could harnass the energey they put into formulating these theories and playing the martyr and use it toward developing our region...... Maybe like kleio said, we could start with having them read an actual book.
By
Lola, at 9/30/2006 6:51 pm
Mr. Issues: Wow...you really do have issues. To be honest, your animosity (which you like to label as "criticism" or an "opposing view" - but really, you have offered no actual criticism nor an opinion of any sort) - I'm actually taking it as a compliment. Because something about me really irks you and, like trevelyana said in the first comment here: "It just means I'm good enough to warrant someone's jealousy and/or irrational spite." I guess I really am Miss Perfect. Your childish games just proved it!
Raine: Stop complimenting me in front of Mr. Issues. He doesn't have anyone to love and support him and it's making him jealous.
By
Kleio, at 9/30/2006 7:34 pm
It's his own fault. Maybe if he would try to do something worthwhile and constructive, people would support him. All I see is hot air!
Being open minded does not mean you have to take bullshit from people without merit. There is an intelligent prerequisite.
This is a personal blog, not a forum for losers to air their opinions about stuff that clearly are their own issues and complexes. Go to therapy for that.
By
Lola, at 10/01/2006 12:01 pm
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