Thursday, September 07, 2006

Elle est partit, mais elle reviendra - a post by "P"

The weirdest feeling I get is when she leaves - I can't really describe it. It's painful and sad and dark, but at the same time, there is a small good feeling inside hidden in between those painful ones. It's the fact of knowing that she is going to be back soon enough, and, best of all, that being apart during this period is for the good of both of us. It is one of the hardest and yet most important things a person must go through - building and setting up your life in order for you to live happily and comfortably, and to make it last forever.

I am not into writing but my excessive need for self-expression forces me to put this into words. Hugging and cuddling and staring into her eyes and passionate moments are not enough to describe my love for her so at this moment I decided to write it down, with a hope that it will show a part of how I feel. I hope it works.

I think that one of the reasons why a couple sticks together for a lifetime is because it takes a lifetime to describe your love and share it with the other person, and show them what you are all about and how you feel towards them. Words and actions and gestures are the most common methods, but they are slow. I shouldn't be complaining about that because somehow it's great that this is how slow it is...because you get to spend so much time trying to talk, express, write, draw, sketch, do, act, share, show, describe that love of yours, and to reveal that final beautiful sculpture that we pass on to the world through our love and through and to our children.

As a designer, the best way to express myself is to actually design, illustrate, sketch, and draw. I reveal so much in my artwork that I cannot produce when I talk or write. And yet the most fascinating thing is that I am still unable to actually draw or design an artwork that can fully or partially complete the image that I want to show - there is so much I want to tell her and show her, to the extent that the biggest piece of paper or canvas on Earth would not be enough to draw on. If we take it from the point of view of "size doesn't matter", I am still not capable of sitting and starting something because of a "fear" I have inside of me that I am not going to do it perfectly - because what I feel is perfect, whether that word is true or not. The same thing applies if I want to compose music or sounds for her.

I believe this is all good and normal. I know that I am not the only person striving to reach this perfect description and expression. She will help - she does, everyday...every moment we spend together or while being away...every laugh and every tear, adds to our sculpture a touch of beauty and helps in producing the perfect artwork. As much as I have self-confidence in my artistic skills and knowledge, I cannot but honestly say that I am not able to complete this masterpiece alone. I need her help with it, and it is never going to be perfect unless we do it together.

So now, while she is away (my cerise, mamaaaa!), I gave her a brush and all the tools she needs to sculpt and draw, alone, and I will be doing the same here. And everytime she is back we will merge our work together and get a splendid image that we will add to our book of life that we are writing together.

As I told her before, what we are going through right now is like creating a soundtrack. We get the right elements together - we compose and write and shape the best sound lines that fit in perfect harmony with each other. It is a long and hard process, but the end results are surely beautiful. Once done, we hit "play" and we get to hear it, enjoy it, and pass it on to others to listen to and get inspired from.


  • :)

    By Anonymous p, at 9/07/2006 10:45 pm  

  • Aww my love...thank you for that. I know exactly what you mean - writing is my forté and I can't even put into words exactly what I feel or describe this as perfectly as it is.

    I've only been gone for two days and it feels like ages. But like you said, this is for the best. Because right now, while we're apart, we can take this time to do everything and become everything we each want to do and be, so that when the time comes for us to be together once and for all, we'll be 100% whole and ready to share ourselves with each other for the rest of our lives.

    But what makes this so hard is simply that life is just so much more fun when I get to spend it with you - on a daily basis. Life just makes more sense when you're near me, and I can't wait till this period is over so we can really have fun and be happy!

    "I think that one of the reasons why a couple sticks together for a lifetime is because it takes a lifetime to describe your love and share it with the other person" --> that's a beautiful thought. And I'm ready to spend my entire life showing you just what I think of you, mon apricot! ;)

    In the meantime, until we can create our own perfect soundtrack to our life, we'll have to depend on the perfection of others. I'd say, Gouryella, Postal Service, "Mushaboom", "I'm a Cuckoo"...what else do you want to add? :)

    "I got a man to stick it out, and make a home from a rented house. And we'll collect the moments one by one, I guess that's how the future's done." (Feist, "Mushaboom")

    By Blogger Kleio, at 9/07/2006 11:06 pm  

  • :) inta!

    By Blogger Kleio, at 9/07/2006 11:06 pm  

  • What a beautiful post... P - I am so glad that you and kleio have found each other. It makes me so happy to see how happy you make her. I know she has found the right person, as have you :) I know you will create the masterpiece you describe, because I see it already in the way you talk about each other...

    By Blogger Raine, at 9/08/2006 2:54 pm  

  • p: add writing to your list of talents and skills. that was a beautifully written post. you are proof that a true artist shouldnt limit his/her medium for expressing emotions.

    love you guys

    By Anonymous edo rex, at 9/09/2006 6:52 am  

  • Maamaaaaaa! Just felt like saying it. :)

    By Blogger Kleio, at 9/09/2006 2:14 pm  

  • Hehehehe this is cute:)

    By Anonymous fractal00, at 9/09/2006 3:22 pm  

  • i feel that i need to comment on this, but after whatever was written here, there is not much more to be said, but I just wanted to let you know that the vibes of your love touches all who’s around you, when we're with you guys we feel it, we're effected too and it feels good...not many share beautiful things with others, and for you to share such a beautiful thing is a blessing for the people around you. Love you both.

    By Anonymous Little_Almond, at 9/11/2006 8:53 am  

  • I'm so happy that you have found each other and feel blessed to have you both in my life.

    By Anonymous red, at 9/11/2006 12:25 pm  

  • Raine & Red: Same to you guys and A and O!

    Edo Rex: We love you too!

    Fractal00: :)

    little-almond: Your comment was so sweet and touching. But...who are you?! :)

    By Blogger Kleio, at 9/11/2006 2:11 pm  

  • i guess u werent around for the translation of my name...its sleepygal :)

    By Anonymous little almond, at 9/11/2006 8:17 pm  

  • Hey you! Haven't seen you here in a while. Wait..."little almond"?? I don't get it. For some reason it sounds familiar but I'm not sure...

    By Blogger Kleio, at 9/12/2006 7:21 pm  

  • kleio: her name translated to english means 'little almond'. that is SO Armenian 101

    Query: is there such a thing as Saudi Armenians? do they exist?

    By Anonymous edo rex, at 9/13/2006 9:43 am  

  • edo rex: im itching to answer you although i know its not the right blog to talk about that! there are armenians in SA, but ive never heard of them having the nationality, although and fyi, there are (very) few armenians with the kuwaiti nationality

    By Anonymous little almond, at 9/13/2006 10:46 am  

  • Why would Armenians want to go to Saudi when there are so many other places right next door? *Shudder*

    By Blogger Kleio, at 9/13/2006 1:24 pm  

  • Awwwwwww this is so cute - i think you should add P as a contributor on your blog.

    The last night I saw you guys I actually notice the love pouring out of both your eyes. It was amazing. I am also glad I understood P when he told you that night that he has you in mind for a different kind of project.

    By Blogger Rampurple, at 9/13/2006 7:04 pm  

  • Hi kleio,
    hope you're well in london...
    i dont know where to put this msg i dont have ur email lol... so thi smight seem a bit random...
    check out Everybody Needs a Fence to Lean On by Headlights... i'm sure u already have but they sound a bit like Postal Service to me... spreadin' the lurv...

    ** allah ykhalleekum le ba3ath inshalla **
    wil sami3 ygool ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen ;)

    By Blogger badly.drawn.woman, at 9/13/2006 10:31 pm  

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