Monday, May 08, 2006

A violating turn

I wish I had never put a stat counter on my blog. It's opened up a whole new can of worms for me. I originally started this blog to keep my friends and family at home updated on things going on in my life while I'm here in London. For the first few months I seriously did not think more than like six people were reading my posts. Then I gradually started getting comments from people I didn't know, and it got me curious. So I put a counter on my blog and was shocked to see that I get like 50+ unique visitors a day (and plenty are returning). I know that's nothing in comparison to what a lot of you guys out there get, but for me...it just shocked me! Who are all these people? It's hard for me to imagine why people who don't know me would find my posts interesting enough to keep coming back. I mean, I understand to an extent because there are a couple of personal blogs out there of people I don't know personally that I read on a more or less regular basis (you know who you are!) but the difference is, theirs are actually interesting! But anyway, I've actually gotten comfortable with the other members of the Kuwaiti blogger community who I don't actually know who have started visiting - it's obvious where they've come from and I'm fine with that (so don't worry, I'm not complaining about you!).

But the most disconcerting thing of all is seeing where some people are logging in from. I can understand all the Kuwaiti ISP's, and some of the U.S. ones who I know are people who stop in on a regular basis. But today, for example, there is a UK visitor who came in by way of a blogger search for "Kleio" - and they stayed on for quite a bit, navigating around the archives and all. Was this person looking for me in particular? And if so, who the heck are they? I mean, I understand if people click on my link when I comment on someone's blog and come in that way - but this is the first time someone has done a search for my blogger name. I don't know - it feels wierd. I haven't shared my blog with anyone here in London, simply because this is something that I share with my friends and family at home (and if other people come across me that way, so be it) and since I'm writing about my UK life, I prefer not to bring my UK life into it. Maybe it was just a fluke and this person was looking for something else but it just feels...violating in a way. I know it's ridiculous for me to say that since I'm posting on the internet for the world to see and I shouldn't complain, but still. I just find it strange that someone was searching for it - if they were being referred by someone else they would have the link and wouldn't have to search.

I started this blog with a very particular reason in mind, but since it's starting to bother me maybe I should stop. I'll keep an eye on things for a few more days and then see.


  • ur stopping cuz random ppl read ur blog??? thats a weird excuse 2 leave :S (oh and yeah i read ur blog on a daily basis :P )

    By Blogger Fedexisms, at 5/08/2006 4:20 pm  

  • hey,
    I ran into your blog a week ago on a random clicking trip. I suppose I never thought to comment because it is a more of daily account blog but at the same time I can relate to a lot of the situations you wrote about (Just signed my life away last week heh).
    I guess it's become sort of a moral responsibility to comment.. stealthy reading is frowned upon.
    Anyhow.. I hope you don't quit. Someone found you interesting enough to search you .. you should be flattered!

    By Blogger Tipsy 'n Tantalizing, at 5/08/2006 5:31 pm  

  • Kleio, I for example do a google search on everything and anything that my mind can conceive. And ever since I discovered Blogger I search on all the blogs as well. This does not mean that someone is e-stalking you, in fact far from it. Getting more hits mean that your blog is getting more popular and that there are a whole lot of snoopy people around (including me!). Your blog is indeed turning out to be very interesting and I check your posts daily. Please do not stop...

    By Blogger Jags Mollu, at 5/08/2006 6:28 pm  

  • Fedexisms: I know, it's strange isn't it? Kind of goes against the whole notion of even having a blog to begin with! I guess, here's the thing about feeling being "violated" - I am actually much more comfortable with strangers reading my blog than I am about people who I know but who I have deliberately not shared my blog with (for whatever reason, and I do have some!). Does that make sense?

    To explain my reason for this post: an incident happened yesterday that led me to believe this morning that someone I know had been searching me out (it turns out I might have been overreacting about that specific person) and it kind of frustrated me. I write for people at home about my life here, and I like keeping that sense of separation. I don't know why - maybe I'm just too anal! But of course, then when it comes to strangers reading it, that's different - I don't mind it at all (but I do find it baffling because my life's not that interesting!). Anyway, welcome to my blog! :)

    trevelyana: And a welcome to you too! It's funny what you say about comments, because once or twice I've done the whole "next blog" thing and I've noticed that so many people have 0 comments - but of course that doesn't necessarily mean no-one's reading. But I found it so common with "Kuwaiti bloggers," when I first started exploring this world, that everyone seems to comment. So I thought if no-one's commenting, no-one's reading! Until I put that darned stat counter on...

    I find it tremendously flattering that you take the time to read what I have to say. :)

    JM: See, yours is one of the rare blogs of a person I don't know in "real life" that I read stealthily, as trevelyana mentioned, and barely comment. Sometimes I feel commenting on yours would violate the steady stream-of-consciousness of your posts.

    Hmm...thanks guys. Your comments made me realize that I was being irrational and just reacting to something specific I assumed was happening but probably wasn't! It must be the sress of exams...

    By Blogger Kleio, at 5/08/2006 6:47 pm  

  • But also, today's incident aside, there have been other reasons that have made me consider stopping as well. Hmmm...I'm thinking way too much aren't I? :)

    By Blogger Kleio, at 5/08/2006 6:51 pm  

  • Yes u r...

    By Blogger Jags Mollu, at 5/08/2006 7:16 pm  

  • Hey!
    Are you serious? Come onnnnnn, its fun!
    Its not that your sharing your special secret receipt on how to do the perfect (Salami sandwich over Frasier)! Its your life stories, its like your saying i dont want people to look at me and what i do in my daily life, i feel considered and i want them to close their eyes... pfftt :P

    People enjoy it, some of them laugh on ur stuff some of them find some kind of a hope or they learn something, so hey, u might be saving lives without knowing..;)

    Keep it on, on on on and dont stop.

    By Anonymous Le Petit Ecolier, at 5/09/2006 10:26 am  

  • Hehehe - salami sandwich over Frasier. I know I know, it's just something I have to get used to. I know I'm overreacting but keep in mind, I'm a viciously private person so starting this blog to begin with was a big step for me! :) I love the link, btw! And it's the hazlenut chocolate one too...yours!

    By Blogger Kleio, at 5/09/2006 2:57 pm  

  • It took long enough to get you started, don't quit on us now :P I'm chuckling to myself remembering our early convos about the stats counter.

    By Blogger Tooomz, at 5/10/2006 5:15 pm  

  • hi, i got to your blog cos a friend of mine plans to move to Kuwait so she wanted to show me blogs from people there. I blog myself (but not in english) so i like to visit other peoples virtual lives from time to time. no biggy. and it shouldnt freak you out, just enjoy the popularity!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/11/2006 5:53 pm  

  • tooomz: OK, remember how much I freaked out that first night?!

    anonymous: I hope my blog hasn't deterred your friend from moving to Kuwait! :)

    By Blogger Kleio, at 5/12/2006 5:05 am  

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